No Apology

About 8 years ago, I lost a friend.  Nobody died.  We broke up.  I was so hurt and upset, I wasn't sure I would survive.  I expected her to call and apologize.  Eight years later, she hasn't.

It continues to haunt me for a few reasons:

1. Didn't she care about me?
2. If she did, why did she do that?
3. If she didn't care about me, why couldn't I see that?
4. Why doesn't she just say she's sorry?
5. Is she sorry?
6. Why do I waste my time worrying about it when it is painfully obvious that she doesn't?

This past weekend, I saw her for the first time since our friendship ended.  There was no tearful, come to Jesus moment.  We were among mutual friends who seem to have sided with her - they have continued to be friends with her, and I'm the one who got left out.  Which leads to more questions about our mutual friends (see six above).

I tried to be a good person - I hugged her when she got there.  Then we tried to avoid each other the rest of the night.  It was incredibly uncomfortable. 

And here I sit, still baffled by the whole thing.  No apology.  No friend.